Harper's Bazaar China February 2023 Issue
Yang Mi: Find the Original Passion Back
"Red" is a powerful colour – a strong enthusiasm that is projected in the heart.
"Red" is also a state – famous.
"Red" also has its two sides – this colour makes one feels passionate but also makes one feel lost in it.
In the bold Chinese red, Yang Mi, who has been famous for many years, has given a surprising answer to the analysis of red and herself.
"I want to put the passion, enthusiasm, and intensity of creation into the red."
"Famous won't make me feel lost but comfort will."
"Throughout the year, I've been thinking about the same thing, which is finding my original passion back."
Harper's Bazaar China February 2023 Issue | Motion Cover
1 RED
After two months of the wrap of "Fox Spirit Matchmaker: Yuehong Chapter", I came to Yang Mi.
I have not seen her for about two years as all timing was missed.
It was winter in Beijing. The temperature remained at -10°C, the wind blowing strongly in all directions, and the animals were all cowering, only occasionally seeing one or two magpies or sparrows, they are never afraid of the cold, flying from one branch to another in an instant. The sky is dreamy blue and also like the thinly oxygenated stratosphere, this huge sough and empty background, as if it is desperately needed to be filled with something.
Walking into the studio, looking around, the dressing room is tiled with a full wall of mirrors, and in the soft glow, people are gathering around a person, who is carefully applying her makeup little by little. She looked up and saw me.
I let out an "oh" in my heart - this is another creation of dreams in the warm little world, from empty to full.
In this small world, red, is gradually constructing the main colour. The studio has set up a huge backdrop, Chinese red forms the most important base colour.
I walked forward and she saw me in the mirror. I asked, "What do you like about red? For example ......"
Enthusiasm? Passion? Brightness? Inheritance? Complex? Just... as complex as the lipstick colours?
"At this stage, I'm probably most interested in its intensity," Yang Mi replied and we quickly had an eye contact again.
She is still the same, I think. As soon as you start to ask the first half of the question, Yang Mi will know about your question, and quickly organise the reflex arc in her brain to give her answer. Her language and actions are both precise and swift like the wind.
She said, "It also feels more fitting to put the passion, enthusiasm and intensity of creation into the red."
What is the intensity of red? After a little bit of chitchat with Yang Mi, I had a slight perception. While chatting, she included her gains from some thinkings she made. It may not even be a gain, but just a thought, and she already has a shadow of change fluttering by.
After years of acting, many people have run out of curiosity. However, Yang Mi's thoughts in 2022 were: "I have a very strong curiosity about acting, and a keen desire to explore."
She saw the progress of local dramas changing from quantity to quality over the years, but what truly made her become "intense" was, "my heart and inner thoughts are still the main factors".
"I just suddenly realised that looking straight into my own heart and thoughts is also a very important thing. The old me was still somehow easily being influenced by the others."
2 See the World
This year* is Yang Mi's year of fate. On her birthday in September 2022, she made a wish: don't disappoint myself (and treat myself nicely), don't disappoint the time.
*T/N: The interview was done before Chinese New Year 2023, so it was still the Tiger Year at that time.
12.09.2022 | Yang Mi weibo update
— Foxismybias (@fxbmiarchive) September 12, 2022
“(My) Birthday wish: don’t disappoint myself/treat myself nicely, don’t disappoint the time, good luck on the year of fate! Thanks for everyone’s blessing ❤️”#YangMi #杨幂 pic.twitter.com/GrsPssSYuu
"I've been loving red a lot this year, probably because it is my year of fate," she said.
She even can't help but choose to wear red for her undergarments and socks. Before 2023 New Year's Day, her parents had already bought spring couplets, and even sticked them on the wall in advance.
"My dad bought them handily when buying groceries. Usually, we won't buy them so early for the New Year. But I think it is also quite good to be this way, cheerful and lively."
She said it mischievously and gently, with her distinctive high pitched voice.
Unconsciously, Yang Mi, who grew up from the crew, has become the "Mi-jie" in the mouth of the others.
Probably starting from "Palace", Yang Mi is always at the top of the trend. Regardless of whether she is a top celebrity, a top national actress, or the most-followed star, she always can contribute the most "trendy" and "popular" dramas, outfits and golden (powerful) quotes. She has been called the "views guarantee", the "queen of promoting goods" and praised as "living clear-headed" ....... She has been famous for more than ten years ever since she was.
Red, in addition to a colour, it is also a state.
Red, also has two sides. When you are famous for too long, you will also feel lost, right? I would like to ask this question.
As I know her personality, I still asked her the question after a few moments later, no matter how straight the question was.
"No, I won't," she said firmly. This question, whether it was asked or not, she probably had thought about it in her mind a long time ago.
"Famous won't make me feel lost but comfort will. It's important to reflect on yourself all the time. If you find yourself is now in a state in which you feel very comfortable, then there is something wrong."
Actors spend years and years in a small circle, acting until they are comfortable, having comfortable collaboration, they might lose their perception and absorption as a human being. Upon hearing what I said, she nodded slightly and agreed: "That's why, 'the world is so big and I want to see it' has become my main idea this year. Regardless of some variety shows, some daily feelings and experiences, or some approaches, I just want to use these different opportunities to learn more about the world."
Think of her who posted daily casual photos on Weibo, her who was bumped into by passersby in the park when hanging out with her friends, and her who took selfies while sunbathing on the grass. The past year, indeed, as Yang Mi described herself, she is "seeing the world" in her own way.
Yang Mi still has that flexible and witty undertones and she is getting more and more beautiful. Her face is getting smaller again, looking exquisite with her thick long hair. The slender waist can be hold by a single arm , and even the calves, which were once less than satisfactory, have been slim, long and straight. She is no longer timid to show her sexiness, when her fine body matched with suitable clothes, she was eye-catching and a big attraction at Harper's Bazaar Design Awards 2022. Besides, her rock-styled jacket and sequinned skirt at the New Year Concert was even more impressive - When she is "looking at the world", her changes are also seen by the world.
She pulled my running thoughts back. She says, she will always remind herself that she can't stay in her comfort zone, whether with a collaborator, a role, or anything else. "Inertia is scary, so I must not stay in it (the comfort zone)."
"In the process of 'seeing the world' this year, I realised that it is important to find my true self."
"Find your true self? Continue to be the 'living clear-headed'?"
"Ah, I don't have any labels on me." She made a gesture, "I'm not really an independent woman, or the living clear-headed. I am kinda not clear-headed! There are times when I just have a flash of light and say something to make people think I'm sober. In fact, I am also very easy to be fooled around, and I am still in the process of learning."
"I am also a person with weaknesses, and actually have quite a lot too. But it's okay, who doesn't have weaknesses? Don't be afraid. And, don't be afraid to feel embarrassed too. For life, everyone is learning."
3 The 80/20 Rule
In year 2022, Yang Mi expands her horizons and boundaries by "looking at the world". But after all, Yang Mi thinks that all the rest, learning and discovery are still for the purpose of acting.
"Acting is the one thing that I've been doing since young. But it still gives me something to look forward to, something to explore, and it still makes me nervous. For me, it's a very enjoyable and preferable condition."
Before and after the wrap of "Fox Spirit Matchmaker: Yuehong Chapter" filming were the time when both "Thank You Doctor" and "She and Her Perfect Husband" were broadcasted.
She played different professional women, Xiao Yan and Qin Shi. They are also the women that Yang Mi is "willing to understand" at this stage.
"Everyone has a side of their life that no one else can see or understand. Maybe if I wasn't an actress, I wouldn't have to know about their lives –– the lives of female doctors and lawyers. And it's not just about the profession, every woman is an independent individual, each with their own emotional requirements and stories. Since I became an actress, I am now willing to try to understand different women. I'm still using my perception and knowledge to portray them."
She told me slowly about Xiao Yan as a doctor and for her profession, she came into contact with more ordinary people and opened herself to understand more sides of the real world, and she loved the drama for this reason. She also wrote her thoughts on Weibo: "Doctors are a group of people who race with death. Persisting until the end is the greatest respect for life."
"I want to film something that I've wanted to film before, but haven't had the chance to do so." Back to our chat, after some thought, she paused briefly, "So many things, there are so many more that I haven't filmed."
This reminds me that in "A Writer's Odyssey", Yang Mi portrayed the villain, Tu Ling, who is different from the kind of cold and careful villain. When I mentioned it, she added: "Yes, don't fix yourself in only a way. The world is huge, and there are many sides that we haven't seen. It is worth to try."
The other aspects of "having a try" are not planned to stop at the comfortable and safe way of acting too. Recently, when playing a certain role, Yang Mi's input is: "I think it is right to play this way, I understand, but I will also want to try from a different perspective."
Even if it might be wrong?
"Yes, I'll have a try first."
"But you know what, I will still be afraid. I'm afraid that I do not have enough capability to learn and I will fail to learn even after many attempts. I'm afraid that I'm not doing well enough in my profession."
However, when filming "Fox Spirit Matchmaker: Yuehong Chapter", Yang Mi had a clear understanding on the portrayal of Tushan Honghong: "There are lesser 'try' when playing the role. I just tried my best to portray her as close as the original version since it is a great classic in the eyes of many people."
These repeated explorations in "try" and "fit" contain Yang Mi's sense of values at this moment. When chatting, although her tone still shows a mischievous and delicate lightness, in the depths of her consciousness, Yang Mi knows that her old "easily be influenced" self has finally understood the power of concentration in this year. "I am not easily influenced by the comments or judgments, but will always be influenced when making decisions. Therefore, I want to find my original passion back."
"She and Her Perfect Husband" has expanded Yang Mi's boundaries for acting and characters, and made her to confirm one thing in her mind: "Remember to grasp the 20% of important things in life and do your best."
"This whole process is what "She and Her Perfect Husband" has taught me. For the 20% or even less than 20% of the most important things, I should put 80% or more energy in doing them."
"That 20%, is what I've redefined this year, which is the original passion for acting. Besides this original passion, other people, maybe people around and close to you, something they said to you, or their influence on you, whether it is good or bad, all of these are not the most important."
4 Original Passion
Why does the desire of finding back your original passion come at this moment?
"Everyone will encounter some sort of things at every age, and maybe I just coincidentally encountered it this year."
It is not an easy task to hear some stories or details of her state of mind from her, or to try to find out the causes of her changes. The person who has once said that she "quit emotions" is rarely attached to the past and does not easily feel regret, not to mention indulging and chasing after some little things from the past.
"No decision is formed in an instant. Nor does a single thing or a single word will let you make a decision. That (making decision) must be a process of accumulation."
She prefers to talk about her current insights. Starting over again and searching for the original passion. "It's never too late to start at any time as long as there is a desire to always grow and learn."
However, scrolling through Yang Mi's Weibo feed and searching for the interplay between the past and the present will reveal treasures. In her early Weibo posts, she once wrote, "For people with a good mindset, the world is a big playground, the more stimulating it is, the more fun they have. For the cowards, it is then a hell, where you can get hurt anytime, anywhere. So, whatever kind of world that you think you are living in depends on what kind of person you are."
So, does the world still seem like an adventurous and exciting playground to Yang Mi at this point?
"It is still possible. You can even think of it as a process of playing a game and going through an instance zone, whereby there's a new boss waiting for you," she said.
My confusion arises from regardless how exciting and fun the playground is to play in, there is a moment when you will get bored. For many people, after once, twice, or three times ...... the charm of the playground will gradually diminish and even disappear. However, there are those who will play once, twice, three times ...... all the time, actively, and enjoying themselves.
"I'm probably the latter. For me, although I already know all the activities in the big playground, I'd still like to go back and play it again with a different perspective (of thoughts)."
Yang Mi has also made her own memories during the journey of "Divas Hit the Road S4". When Yang Mi, a Beijing girl, moved out of her 10 square metre alley house to her first storied house, her father told her, "Remember your first house. One day, no matter how high you live (how successful you are), can you return to this house?" Yang Mi's answer at the time was that she could.
And what about now?
"I still can do it."
One day, even if it is a very low probability, even if you have lost everything, you can still go back to your original point and start again?
She was very sure: "Yes, this is also a process of finding the original passion back. From the start, you already know why you're going along this journey, so you will also know it when you start again. It doesn't really matter with how big a house you live in."
She then stopped responding to my questions in the most immediate way. She intended to think about it before giving an answer. So, in the dressing room, when being given eyelid tapes and nail polish, she gave me a 'helpless' laugh: "I have to put eyelid tapes and nail polish on when I'm thinking seriously, and it's really distracting for the original passion." She makes a little joke by using the example of small things happening on the spot: "You see, whether it's a distraction from something big or something small, a distraction from the present or a distraction from the future, there's always a time when you feel like you can't do anything about it."
Waiting quietly. Waiting for the little distractions to settle out of her world and for her to make what she finally wanted to tell and a long-considered answer in her clear mind.
After a minute or two, she settled down and looked at me: "At first my thoughts were very simple. I just wanted to act well and have more good opportunities to portray good characters. But slowly, as time goes on, or after being in my comfort zone for a long time, there are more and more problems, and more and more distractions."
"A lot of times I know this is a distraction, but how do I block out the negative energy that comes with these distractions? For example, if I get disturbed/interfered one day, I think it's okay, and it'll pass, but it leaves a pit in my mind, and for the next time, and another time, I'll think, how did this happen again, can just let me do one thing properly?"
It's not just happening on the filming set, but there are also some external distractions. "Actually, you are literally just trying to act for a film. However, these things can complicate you, or complicate this thing (acting/filming)."
"When having these interruptions and obstacles, you have to block out some of the negative emotions that these interruptions bring to you. Only when you block out these things, then you can go back into the role. This is a learning process, but these are the things I must do. I've been thinking about them all this year."
As the interviewer, I stopped everything I was doing and just listened to her. She, too, was elaborating concentratedly and seriously. There was a seriousness on her face that was rarely seen before, and I knew the reason for it.
"It's pointless to hate these things. These are something that we all have to go through," Yang Mi says. It's just that when becoming an actress, these distractions become visible and obvious. Her empathy remains strong: "Everyone who does their own profession will encounter similar things."
"Well, this is basically a process of needing to reconcile with your own heart. I'm still learning it."
The answer has been found. So, I guess the next step is to take action. Will Yang Mi, once bothered by the distractions, next show us a version of herself that is full of concentration? She walks into a sea of red and starts the photo shoot session.
In the cold winter, red becomes the strongest and most vibrant colour. Her words left the same impression on me. In my mind, I began to sketch out bits of anticipation.
Q & A
A: Suspense.
Q: Many people are particularly interested in the suspense genre.
A: Then I'll change it. (Thinking for five seconds) I still prefer suspense. I always like suspense stories.
Q: If there is a daydream, where will your fantasy drift to?
A: What is the starting scene? (Like here, in the studio.) You know that there are a lot of reincarnation series of manga, right? A reincarnation series, a revenge series, the kind which have the memories of the past life, the skill points are full, and then, start.
Q: What if you go back to the house you lived in as a child with the memories of your past life?
A: First thing to do is to buy a lottery ticket. (The surrounding crowd erupt: buy a house first!) Oh yes, you should buy a house first. But this is not so fantastical, it's too realistic. I'll just go back to the reincarnation series and take my revenge.
Q: What was the most "useless" purchase you have made recently?
A: Purchase of canned yellow peaches. I placed orders from two different sellers and so far (on the day of the interview), they haven't been shipped yet.
A: Hopefully it's a character captured by the camera.
A: Always slipping. I always fall down or bump into something or whatever because my heels are too high and unstable. I have a very poor coordination and balance, hence I'm the kind of person that can bump into the wall of my own house.
Q: So, how do you overcome the embarrassment? Pretend that it didn't happen?
A: I hope people don't see it. But if they see it, what to do. I will just "fake it", like when I hit the wall, I'll say, "Oops, the wall hit me!"