Yang Mi • The Law of My Life

Yang Mi describes herself for having a "fish memory".

The best thing she can do is to forget.

Some people use "forget" to avoid problems and let memory loss to serve as their protection.

But "Yang Mi's style of forgetting" is completely different.

It has been internalised into a free and unrestrained lifestyle.

No turning back, no dilemma, and no entanglement.

In Yang Mi's opinion,

"80% of the things in life are not important, the important things

only take up to 20%, or maybe even less than 20%."

NO LOOKING BACK

–– desire decreases over time ––

"I don't have a serious law of life. I just know that the more people live, the less things they want to do instead, and the less things they want to have. Slowly, many things become unimportant, and you just want to stay alive, preferably living happily."

Yang Mi is alert of every "up-value" hype, and she is not afraid to use "superficial" as an adjective. In the conversation, she can use the simplest words and phrases to describe the basic daily trivialities, focusing only on the very specific things of the moment. For example, this year (2022/Year of Tiger) is Yang Mi's year of fate, and when taking to this, Yang Mi casually lifted her clothes: "Look, I still have a red rope tying around my waist."

*T/N: For Chinese tradition, tying a red rope around the waist, especially throughout the year of fate, will bring good luck and avoid unwanted incidents.

When talking with Yang Mi, it's easy to turn into a casual chit-chat. She was not defensive to expose her Chinese New Year schedule. For example, sleeping in her best friend's house, a few girls living as in a dormitory and chatting for all night long; quarrelling with people, winning the fight, and feeling good about it.

"There's nothing I can't talk about, as long as I can recall it. But many times, I will even forget what I ate last night. It's quite nice too because all the good things and bad things will be forgotten. This is a really great skill!"

Along with forgetfulness, calmness comes. Yang Mi at the moment has a busy lifestyle, but will never fully fill the days with work.

"Previously, there was a time when I would feel anxious due to inactivity, only work could make me feel at ease, even an empty/inactive day was not accepted. But now, I am not anxious even if I rest for a whole month because I put more attention on myself and my life. It's nice to have a meal with my family, play with my cat for a while, do some writing, read a book, or even spend a day just lazing around."

Sometimes, Yang Mi also reveals the queen style of dominance and confidence. But why having a poor memory? Because "every step in life is well-traveled, hence never look back."

MARKED SURPRISE

–– important days are placed in heart ––

The birthdays of important people or friends around,

Yang Mi remembers all.

Actually,

she doesn't deliberately memorise them,

just that every time when she knows,

she pays attention on them.

In life, people can't help but to think from a meritocratic perspective, while Yang Mi is simply being faithful to her emotions, relationships and her heart.

HANGOUT WITH MI

–– strolling is the best "observation of people" ––

Yang Mi has a kind of down-to-earth atmosphere in her, and she carries her observation of the society into her life itself.

"When I'm not working, I will go for a walk.

Buy a beer and squat on the street to watch couples quarrel."

This is something that people with heavy idol burden can never say.

It's true that people will see Yang Mi relaxing on the street or in the milk tea store. But the question also comes up: "Public figures walking on the street are inevitably nervous and have no way to really enjoy a comfortable time walking around, and you don't seem to be bothered by that?"

"Maybe I'm too well disguised,

and people don't recognise me.

There are still guys who talk to me and ask for my WeChat."

"What did you do then?"

"I just kept shaking my head and didn't dare to make a sound."

Such Yang Mi, will not give up her observation on the people around when walking on the street. When a couple quarrel, Yang Mi will squat down to watch. If she was tired of squatting, she would simply sit by the roadside, "How long the quarrel is, I can watch for how long".

Although most of the time, the quarrel that she witnessed, only originated from some trivial things, and neither brought a deeper meaning nor more inspiration to understand life or to deal with the role she played.

"But it's okay, I think the quarrel itself, is a particularly interesting and necessary thing to happen between couples. Our daily quarrels are about things that others find particularly meaningless and boring, but at this time the two of them are still very serious, and this contrast itself is quite intriguing."

For Yang Mi, "two people fight for some meaningless little things, on the contrary is the most interesting thing in a love relationship and a moment that must be experienced."

STAY TRUE

–– just reject when it's necessary ––

If you ask Yang Mi to summarise the personal principles that must be upheld in life, the first one is, "while maintaining politeness, adhere to her own sense of boundaries and discretion".

To be more specific, is that Yang Mi will not easily let others exert influence on her live,

"That's why the sense of boundaries must be there, cannot when someone came to say a word to me, and then, pop, my thoughts today are changed by them. It's impossible."

"Of course I do listen to advice, I will listen to good, well-meaning and reasonable advice, and conversely, I will reject when it is time to reject."

However, for many people, "learning to say no" is not an easy task. Whenever a rejection happens, we can't help but feel guilty or reflect on "Is this good?"; On the other hand, it seems that not being influenced by others is not an inborn ability, but requires a strong courage to support ourselves. How did Yang Mi do it?

"We always mention to learn to reject, but in fact, rejection is not something to be learned. The most important thing is that you have to start doing it, you have to really go to reject people once. I have been doing this for quite some time. At the beginning, I will feel really awesome, I think I must say it and finally able to fight back. From this point onwards, you will understand that this is not to compromise yourself. Slowly, you may be more and more calm, but the principle and boundaries in your heart have been firmly set, and will not be easily affected anymore."